Since this all began a few weeks ago, I have moved through many different emotions; shock, grief, peace, acceptance… all parts of the process. There are times when I am very grateful for the pause, the slow down, and other times when I feel the weight of the unknown… and still others when I feel the suffering and the fear of so many affected and I wish it would all go away.
However, deep within me, there is a knowing that this needed to happen, even though I don’t know why. A knowing that whatever is on the other side will be good, will be what is necessary… and this gives me a sense of peace.
Another thing which brings me deep peace is the power of the people, and not just the power, but the big big hearts full of love that surround this world. Amazing authors have taken to Instagram to read excerpts of their books to bring their art and voices for all to hear. Talented musicians are playing live songs over Facebook for people to watch and tune in, singing songs of freedom, love, pain, patience, the grace of God, you name it. Activists, Elders, yoga studies, prayer warriors, astrologers, earth lovers, artists, dancers, painters…so many beautiful souls wanting to help others through these times by offering their gifts, encouraging people to help each other, reach out to each other, donate to services for the elderly, for the children who are missing out on school lunches, for independent businesses. The list could go on and on. There is a sense of togetherness in the separation which motivates me to believe in humanity, and gives me so much hope as we journey together, deeper into the unknown.
It inspires me to share my gifts, and to learn how to keep showing up open hearted and with my best foot forward. It also reminds me we are in this together, and that I can rest a little too, that I don’t have to play savior all the time. To know that in the collective pause I can slip out here and there, go deep into the mountains and put my feet on the Earth…sing my songs and center myself, check in and make sure I’m in my body, I’m present, that I’m also taking care of me… and that that’s okay, because so many of us are here to hold the collective and I can let them hold me too sometimes.
I truly feel more connected to humanity. I feel how deeply we care about each other, how deeply we want to live…and I also feel very connected to the earth now… the days feel more still, when I’m on the earth She feels more rested somehow. The quiet streets bring me comfort. When I am lonely, I know that many others are too… and that brings me peace in a way, to know we are all as One learning tough lessons now, and that we are all learning how to get intimate with ourselves and that many of us are together in love and solidarity; showing up, bringing our light, and bringing our gifts like never before.
I give so much thanks to Creator for the blessedness of community, and for the power of love. In the weight of collective fear, I feel a surge of infinite love coming from our hearts and penetrating the thickness. This gives me hope that we are strong, we are tenacious, we are adaptable, and we are riding this wave together, and for that, I am humbled in deep appreciation.
Alix Claman
